The Saga Drinking Game
By Kebinu

Yeah, you know someone had to do this sooner or later! Anyway, this is more in jest than an actual drinking game, since anyone who'd sit around a computer with all their friends for several hours reading fanfics clearly needs a life. Of course, I'm sure there's someone out there who'd try it. Such as yours truly…

Rules: (Alcoholic) first person to puke or pass out loses
(Non-alcoholic) first person to, ahem, relieve him/herself loses

Dav tells his life story: 2 drinks
Dav and Ami kiss: 3 drinks
Dav uses a limit break: 1 drink
> And it's not Justice Slash: 3 additional drinks
Dav kills Yuffie: 2 drinks
Dav wins a game of Smash Bros.: 1 drink
Dav loses a game of Smash Bros.: 3 drinks
Dav acts like Cid or Barret (i.e.: opening a can of hash or saying "I pity the fool who dodges my Justice Slash!"): 4 drinks
Dav translates what Ami said for everyone else: 1 drink
Dav says "Take it like the @*#(&@ you are, Yuffie!": 5 drinks
Dav abuses Steve or Bob: 3 drinks
Dav insults Sailor Moon: 2 drinks
Dav gets henpecked for swearing in front of Ami: 3 drinks
Cid calls Barret anything involving the word "monkey": 2 drinks, shake your head and mutter "Redneck."
Cid opens a can of hash: 3 drinks
Cid makes a "Damn! Again!" comment: 2 drinks
> And gets his @$$ kicked for it: 4 additional drinks
Cid does something to incur the wrath of the author: 1 drink
Cid does something perverted: 3 drinks
Cid smokes more than one cigarette at once: 5 drinks
Cid shoves his spear up someone's @$$: 2 drinks
Cid fantasizes about Kate Winslut: 3 drinks and say, "Cid, you poor deluded bastard."
Cid falls asleep on the job: 3 drinks
> And dreams about Daisy Duke: 1 additional drink
Cid's Dukes of Hazzard tapes are destroyed: 4 drinks and laugh at him
Cid does an annoying thing over and over and over and over and over (walking into the kitchen, breaking ocarinas, etc.): 5 drinks
Someone insults Cid because he likes to drink tea: 2 drinks
Someone calls Cid unreliable: 1 drink
> And gets a spear up the @$$ for it: 3 additional drinks
Someone pulls a Cid: 4 drinks
Cid pulls a Cid: entire beverage (this actually doesn't happen very much!)
Barret says "I pity the foo'": 3 drinks
Something goes up Barret's @$$ (bullets, Cid's spear etc.): 4 drinks
Cloud says "Let's mosey": 3 drinks
Cloud says "Move out": 4 drinks
Cloud Omnislashes someone into next week: 2 drinks
Cloud gets stopped right before he can Omnislash someone: 1 drink
Cloud does the Cloud Strife Freakout: 2 drinks
Someone else does the Cloud Strife Freakout: 1 drink
Aeris calls Tifa "Double D": 2 drinks
Tifa calls Aeris "Flower Pussy": 4 drinks
Red XIII tries unsuccessfully to find out what "Flower Pussy" means: 5 drinks and laugh at him
The silicon content of Tifa's breasts is called into question: 1 drink
Tifa/Aeris catfight: 2 drinks
> And they rip clothes off: 1 additional drink
> >And the guys place bets: 3 additional drinks
Sailor Moon cast member compares Tifa and Aeris to Usagi and Rei: 3 drinks
Aeris mentions her pregnancy: 1 drink
Vegeta does his "The defeat of the Saiyan warrior" speech: 4 drinks
Vegeta is mean to Usagi: 2 drinks
Vegeta says "Hell ya''!": 1 drink
Vegeta goes Super Saiyan: 4 drinks
Goku goes Super Saiyan: 4 drinks
Goku demonstrates his lack of prowess at video games: 3 drinks
Someone calls Vegeta or Goku a "Saiyan pussy": 5 drinks
Someone other than Vegeta calls Goku "Kakarotto": 2 drinks and yell "Kakarotto!" until someone kicks the door down and demands to know what the hell is going on.
Any appearance by a DBZ character other than Vegeta, Goku, Frieza or the Ginyu Force: 2 drinks. Take 1 additional drink if they're one of the numbered androids.
Jadeite gets covered in s**t: 1 drink
Tuxedo Kamen gets covered in s**t: 2 drinks
Tuxedo Kamen accidentally injures or kills himself: 1 drink and say "Ha Ha!" like Nelson
Bob becomes Tuxedo Bob: 3 drinks
Zoicite's gender is called into question: 4 drinks and snicker
Nephrite says a sentence that doesn't start with "The stars…": 2 drinks
Kunzite reacts to something in a completely opposite manner from everyone else: 3 drinks
Beryl demonstrates her lack of taste in men (Frieza, Ash etc.): 4 drinks
Grahf makes his "I am Grahf/grant unto thee" speech: chug for duration
Any appearance by a FF8 character: 2 drinks
Bart is mean to Emeralda: 3 drinks
Elly gets horny: 1 drink and say, "Now THAT, kids, is a horny little girl."
Fei gets the ladies after him: 3 drinks
Bart tries to kill Billy: 5 drinks
Billy plays the mac: 2 drinks
One word. "Bartweiser".: entire beverage and yell "It's the secret ingredient!"
Someone calls Citan "Shitan": 3 drinks
Citan bitches about people calling him "Shitan": 2 drinks and yell "Shuddap, Shitan!"
Billy Lee, Man of Action: 4 drinks
Link does something stupid: 3 drinks
Dav says "Hahahahahahahaha! Link's gay!" or variant: 5 drinks and imitate
"Kick the Pikachu!": 4 drinks
Any reference to Britney Spears: 2 drinks
Ginyu Force members do their gay dances: 4 drinks and yell, "When did this fic turn into a damn GAP commercial?!"
DiCrapio dies: 5 drinks
Cait's Friend dies: 2 drinks
Ramza dies: 3 drinks
Kefka sets something on fire: 1 drink
Kefka sets HIMSELF on fire: 3 drinks and imitate his laugh.
Heidegger becomes Evector: 2 drinks and say, "Groovy shrooms, man!"
Someone pukes all over Red XIII: 2 drinks
Red XIII kills someone by farting: 1 drink and hold your nose.
Sephiroth dies a horrible, icky death: 3 drinks, nod and say "Good riddance to that @$$hole!"
Ramza runs in with his @$$ hanging out of his pants: 5 drinks and flinch.
Ramza does his "Delita you coward!" speech: 4 drinks and yell "Shut UP!"
Cait's friend says something other than "Tequila man!" or "Fejita man!": 6 drinks
Cait's friend goes on a drinking rampage: 4 drinks
Usagi gets drunk: 3 drinks and say, "Here comes the grandmother of justice."
Joe reads a porno mag: 2 drinks
Any reference to Joe having been abducted by aliens: 3 drinks and say "Sorry to hear about your @$$!"
Cait Sith uses his megaphone to scream something in someone's ear: 2 drinks
Scarlet and Palmer do something perverted: 3 drinks and say "Yeah, I've got your satisfaction right here!"
Anyone (Piccolo, DiCrapio or otherwise) is called "Pickle d**k": 4 drinks
Makoto and Rei chase after Dave (Cloud) and Dave (Dyne): 5 drinks
Ami elbows Dav: 2 drinks
Rei insults Tuxedo Kamen: 2 drinks
Minako says something ditzy (i.e. she opens her mouth): 3 drinks
Something happens to cause everybody to see Minako naked: 2 drinks and whistle. You perverts.
Dave or Dyne makes a pessimistic speculation about when the next episode will be finished: 6 drinks, scream "NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and do the Cloud Strife Freakout.
Cloud and Tifa have sex: 2 drinks
Vegeta and Aeris have sex: 3 drinks
Dav and Ami have sex: 4 drinks
Fei and Elly have sex: 5 drinks
Cait's friend and Minako have sex: 6 drinks and gag.
Frieza and Beryl have sex: Okay, screw the drinking. Just puke.

I've got my few cases of root beer, do you?