FF7: King Of The Ring
By Kasshan

The Gold Saucer (Final Fantasy VII)


this story is in tribute to owen hart.
ross: hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the first annual ff7 king of the ring.
king: damn again.. why can't you say "welcome to this wrasslin event" or something?
ross: stop copying people or i'll shove my microphone up your @$$! now here's the list of matches.
1.cait sith vs steve in a cage match.
2. ramza vs delita in the "hell in the cell" match.
3. cid vs jose in a inferno match.
4. vincent & sting vs the undertaker in a weapon match.
5.rude vs scott hall with red as the refiree.
6.aeris vs tifa in a "striptease" match.
7.barret vs the "bigshow".
8. beaver clevage vs don corneo in a perv match.
9. dark nation vs red x111 in a maul for all match.
and the final match: kevin,dav and cloud vs vince macmahon,sephiroth and rip in a anthing goes, buried alive match.
king: oh yeah! i can't wait to see the puppies in the tifa vs aeris match oww...yeah!!!!
ross:well let's get on with the match, both cait and steve are in the cage.
mills lane: allright now i want a good bloody fight,let's get it on!
cait: (punches steve) you gonna die!
steve: BABES!?
cait: BABES? BABES? is that all you can say?
steve: (nodds) BABES!!! (steve picks up cait in a gorrila press slam and throws him against the cage and starts climbing the cage,and when cait get's up...steve is over)!
ross: ??? oh my god! steve won! that's impossible!
steve: (ripps off his mask)
ross: it's the "ultimate warrior"???
warrior: HA HA HA!!!!! (dissapears)
ross: that was f***ed up right there! but anyway on to the next match.
ramza: (comes running in like a gay jack@$$ and climbs on top of the cage)
delita: (does the same thing, then sneakes up behind ramza and pushes him off the cage)
ramza: AHH!!!!!!!!!!!! (hit's ground and dies)
ross: delita wins.....wait a sec someones on top of the ring...it's pee wee herman!
pee wee: ahh...( walkes closer to delita while jacking off)
delita: oh my god! someone help me!
pee wee: ahh......(still jacking off jumps on delita and they both fall off the ring and die while covered in a white substance)
ross: a fate worse than hell....
author's note: (let's hold a silent prayer for delita cause that is a bad way to die)
ross:on to the next match, cid and jose are already in the ring, (a wall of fire surrounds the ring) the rules are simple...if you get burned then you loos.
cid: (light's up his cig and throws it in jose's eye)
jose: AHHH!!!!!!!!! (falls into the fire,dies)
ross:cid wins!!!!
cid: and that's the bottom line cause cid highwind said so, now it's time to watch the dukes (opens a can of hash)
ross: now let's go back stage to michael cole.
(backstage) michael: thank's j.r i'm here with cloud,kevin and dav,well guys how do you feel about your upcoming match tonight?
kevin: first off shut your mouth before i kick you around the damn building,bu in answer to your question we are gonna beat the living !@#$%!##$ out of those three bastards and that's all were gonna say about it!
michael:back to you jim!
ross:allrighty then..the contenders in are next bout are ready to rumble!,but unfortunetly we have been told that the undertaker has finally been buried and will not be able to compete (ah aint that sad....not!) so were going to have to go to the next match,but don't worry at the next event we will see that match!
red x111 the refiree:allright let's get it on!
rude &scott: (drunker than anyhing walk to the middle of the ring with red in between them,then they puke on him.)
red: god damn it! (mauling rude and scott untill the died)
ross: and the winner is red! wait a sec...i've just been informed that aeris,tifa and kevin cannot be found! michael says he saw them heading to a hotel nearby and that hell is breaking loose in the back,everybody is fighting! wait...there coming out here!
mob of people fighting: (start reaking the arena and people in the audience start fighting)
ross: i'm sorry for the incovenience folks bu the next event known as ff7: royal rumble will be alot better,so until then...good fight goodnight!

the end.........for now!

There's another wrestling fic (if you haven't read it yet) back there