FF7 Meets FFT: The spoiled wedding Part II
By Rofel

Narrator: After the cliff hanger last episode, I must answer these questions. Will Algus and Agrias find out where they are? Yeah, they figured out that they were sent to another world when the bervenia volcano erupted. Will Delita and Ramza stop arguing? That answer will be in this episode. Whats going on with Barret, Cid and the others? They're sitting in the front row, minus vincent. Did Cid smoke during the wedding? No, but they had to bring two 20-packs of patches for him. Will Cait Sith ever be a real boy? No, but the person who controls him is. Will Charlie Brown ever kick that darn football? Nah, hes too much of a loser. Who shot professor plum with a magnum in the hallway? It was that damned Mr. Green! And now, the story shall begin...

:::The scene opens at Cosmo Canyon, with Algus and Agrias looking for equipment and trying to find where they are:::

Weapon Seller: You sure are strange ones! Why buy weapons when you can go to a wedding?

Ramza: There you two are!

Delita: Whats the deal, leaving us in the middle of a desert?

Agrias: Well anyway, I'll have this sword.

Ramza: Dammit agrias! I want that sword!

Agrias: Do you even have enough gil?

Ramza: Crap!

Algus: Say, whats this about a wedding?

Weapon Seller: Oh, didn't you hear? Cloud Strife and Aeris Gainsborough are getting married today! Too bad thats its about over now...

Ramza: CLOUD? you mean that guy who came as such a weak fighter?

Agrias: And AERIS? You mean that flower girl who sold us a flower for 1 gil?

Delita: We should go and get them.

Algus: You got that right.

Narrator: So, Ramza, Delita, Agrias, and Algus are ready to stop them. But what about Tifa? Lets go back to the wedding area...

Tifa: Aeris! Its your fault I got locked away!

Cloud: Tifa? But how? How did you get out of jail?

Tifa: I made a bargain.

Aeris: What sort of bargain?

Tifa: With the jail owner, that if he let me out i'd...

Aeris: You and those fake rubber things?

Tifa: Grr...that makes me mad... {FINAL HEAVEN}

Aeris: {Limit meter fills} {GREAT GOSPEL!}

Tifa: GRRRRRRRRR.........

Cloud: Tifa, get outta here! :::draws Apocalypse::: {OMNISLASH}

Narrator: Cid came out of the crowd and impaled Tifa on the Venus Gospel.

Tifa: Agh! :::dies:::

Cloud: Okay, with her outta the way, lets finish the wedding.

Heidegger: Oh, yes. Everything is done...

Aeris: Oh yeah...Lets go! C'mon Barret, Cid, Yuffie, Red, Cait Sith. Come along everyone.

Vincent: What about me?

Cloud: Vincent? I didnt know you decided to come. I didnt even see you out in the crowd.

Aeris: Neither did I...

Yuffie: None of us did.

Cid: Well, come along anyway Vincent.

Narrator: They all got on the Ropeway and left the gold saucer. Elsewhere...

Algus: Huff...Puff...

Ramza: Hey is that...

All: ELMDOR? Look! He even has a masamune! Thats definitely elmdor! He came somehow too...

Sephiroth: :::Looks up::: Huh?

Ramza: Get 'im!

Sephiroth: What?

Algus: ELMDOR???????

Sephiroth: no my names not elmdor...

Agrias: Oh shut up Elmdor, we know your the only one with a masamune...

Sephiroth: No! This is a mistake! My name is Sephiroth!

Agrias: yeah right elmdor... {LIGHTNING STAB!}

Sephiroth: Ugh! Electrocuted...

Narrator: So sephiroth died again...Meanwhile we see Cloud and the rest of the gang getting off the ropeway at North Corel...

Aeris: So, cloud. How's it feel to be married?

Cloud: I dunno, Aeris. It kinda feels like were missing something...

Aeris: Like what?

Cloud: Like...:::looks at his hand and Aeris'::: DAMMIT HEIDEGGER!!!!

Narrator: So Cloud and Aeris went back to the gold saucer event square wedding area to have their rings put on. After that, Cloud killed Heidegger out of pure rage. Later, again at the North Corel Ropeway station...

Aeris: Now how's it feel to be married Cloud?

Cloud: I dunno.

Aeris: I have the entire honeymoon planned out.

Cloud: Cool.

Aeris: First, all 8 of us are gonna spent the night at Icicle Inn. Then in the morning, well get up real early, sneak out of Icicle Inn, and take the Highwind!

Cloud: Why not jus ride the gold chocobo? Its a lot funner.

Aeris: Hey! Thats a great idea! Its a week long honeymoon. The first day, we go to the new Chocobo Village on the north continent and find us some greens for this chocobo. We spend the night at the Inn there. Then, we spend two days in Costa Del Sol, and we spend the night at the Inn there. The next day, we go to Midgar and eat at the new place there, the Choco Burger. We spend the night at the Inn there.Then we spend the last 3 days of our honeymoon at Cosmo Canyon.

Cloud: ...okay, but we still have a lot more fun things to do before our honeymoon.

Aeris: Doh!

Cloud: Okay, the first thing we need is a new car. I saw a shin-ra mercedes that we could steal.

Aeris: But I thought we were going to ride on Chocobo back...

Cloud: That slow thing? It would take a week to get from Midgar to Kalm. Lets use a new car.

Narrator: And so, Cloud and Aeris are ready for their honeymoon. Did Heidegger forget anything else? Why didnt anyone see Vincent? Will Yuffie ever find any materia? Find out next time in:

FF7 Meets FFT: The spoiled wedding Part III


Where the hell is Carmen Sandiego?

Part 1 | Part 3

If you want to avoid meeting of the rest of the FF7 crew by Ramza, head back now.