The Wacked Out Sports League Deathmatch titles!
By Watchers Prime and Gamma
Watcher Prime: Hello, Iím Watcher Prime
Watcher Gamma: And Iím Watcher Gamma and this is the...
Both Watchers: The WOSL Deathmatch title fight night!
Watcher Prime: We have a fine line of matches tonight and they (fells something going up and down his leg)
Watcher Gamma: (smiles and whispers to him) I want you now!
Watcher Prime: (whispers back) wait til the matches are over!
Watcher Gamma: Ok........
Watcher Prime: Well anyway, we have three matches ready for this evening and in no real order they are Match #1: Yuffie Kisaragi Vs. Lina Inverse!
Watcher Gamma: For the title of ďMost annoying thief in the worldĒ!
Watcher Prime: Then for match #2: Raye Hino (Sailor Mars) Vs. Serena Tsukino (Sailor Moon) for the title of ďmost stuck up, good for nothing b***hĒ!
Watcher Gamma: For our final match we have all the male characters of final fastasy 7 Vs. a unknown emeny (bum bum bum!)
Watcher Prime: Nice touch there.
Watcher Gamma: thank you (whispers to him) So? How do you want me to do it?
Watcher Prime: (whispers back) I said not til the matches are over!
Watcher Gamma: (kicks her voice back up) ok......
Watcher Prime: Anyway, I think the 1st match is about to begin! Lets go down to the ring with a on the spot person......Emiko?!
Emiko: (near the ring) Yep, itís me! Well, the match is about to begin.......letís watch!
Yuffie: Get ready to die you thiefiní b***h!
Lina: I donít see my death by you anytime soon....besides iím a badnit killer, remember!?
Patrick: (as the ref) SHUT THE HELL UP BOTH OF YOU!!
Yuffie and Lina: (have shut up now)
Patrick: Allright you know the rules, no using any crap you steal, and no magic! Did I make myself clear?
Yuffie and Lina: Yes sir...
Patrick: LETS GET IT ON!!
????????????: (somewhere in the arena) You said it!
????????????: hehe! Oh Prime...! Your so good at this!
Watcher Prime: I know Gamma, I know! (grabs her breasts and starts rubing them)
Watcher Gamma: Ooooohhhh yyyyyaaaeeehhh!
(at the ring) Yuffie: Youíre going to die tonight! *throws her shuriken at Lina*
Lina: *avoids the shuriken* HA! Is that the best you can do? *summons a fireball*
Patrick: *chops Linaís hand off with his Z-Saber*
Lina: HOLY S**T! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!
Patrick: I said no magic and I meant it!
(meanwhile the shuriken cuts one of the wires for a large spike)
Yuffie: Thatís it! *b***h slaps Lina*
Lina: Why you!? *b***h slaps Yuffie*
Yuffie: HO! *b***h slaps Lina*
Lina: Your boyfriend is a Gothic b*****d! *b***h slapsYuffie*
Yuffie: HEY! DONíT TALK ABOUT VINNY THAT WAY! *uppercuts Lina*
Vincent: (runs to the ring) Yeah! That should teach you magic whore!!
Lina: Grrrr..... *jabs Yuffie*
Vincent: THATíS IT! *fires a bullet in the air* NOBODY DOES THAT TO MY YUFFIE! *body slams Lina*
(meanwhile the bullet cuts though the other rope of the big spike and it drops on the thiefing b***hes)
Yuffie and Lina: I reget nothing.....(the spike lands on both of them!)
Vincent: NNOOOO!!! There goes my fun......unless....*pulls out the instance plot device: (just add water) and uses it on Yuffie*
Yuffie: (now living again) I won the match!!! *tap dances on Linaís dead body*
(up at the the main booth were.....HEY where are Wacthers Prime and Gamma?!)
*a sign shows up* WPís sign: That was one good match wasnít it?
WGís sign: Yes, yes it was
WPís sign: next we have a interview with the unknown foe for the main event, our interviewer, Cait Sith!
(in the room of the unknown foe)
Cait Sith: So what kind of grudge do you hold against your foes for this match?
Unknown foe: Well, to be truthful, I donít have any grudge against of them.
Cait Sith: Then why do you want to fight?
Unknown foe: Well, I want to get someoneís attention..
Cait Sith: Who?
Unknown foe: Thatís enough out of you *the unknown foe blows the hell out of cait sith!*
Cait Sith: Oh...poppy *dies*
(back at the desk)
Watcher Prime: (now sitting upright, with his clothes on.....) What does that unknown foe want...?
Watcher Gamma: Beats the hell out of me! I think the next is ready....
Watcher Prime: I think so lets go to the ring!
(At the ring)
Patrick: One the red side of the ring, Raye Hino, other wise known as Sailor Mars!
(one side or the arena cheers for Raye.....along with.....Darian!?)
Darian: Come on Raye, kick that b***hís @$$ and iíll give you pleasure!
Raye: Allright honey, iíll kill her for you! *blows a kiss for Darian* Besides, i like to be hugged close!
Patrick: And as you know, in the blue side for the ring, is Serena Tsukino, other wise known as Sailor Moon
(the other side of the arena is quiet.....too quiet.....)
Serena: Hey! Where the hell is my crowd!?
The only guy there: Hey, my ticket dosenít have this seat...... *he leaves*
Serena: *BIG anime sweatdrop!*
Raye and Serena: *Do there transfromation thing or whatever*
Patrick: LETíS GET IT ON!!!
Raye: I hoped your ready to die!
Serena: I donít want to do this anymore! WWWWWWAAAAAAAAA!
Raye: Huh? Whatís wrong, you hurt? *comes up close to Serena*
Serena: hehehe *shoves her moon wand up her @$$!*
Raye: My @$$! My f**kiní @$$! That was a cheap shot! Grrrrr....
Serena: HAHA! You fell for it! You fell for the oldest joke in the book!
Raye: Why you b***h! *claws Serenaís face*
Serena: Not the face! AAAAHHHH! Darian save me!
Darian: (siting near Tenchi) Man.........Your life is more interesting than mine
Tenchi: At least you donít have 6 women drooling all over you!(fells something wet on his shoulder) Ryoko! For the last time, stop that!
Serena: Uh, Darian? Can you help me out here?
Darian: (not hearing Serena all together) Can I move in with you?
Tenchi: Ok...I guess, as you donít mind bunking with....
Darian: HELL YEAH!!
Tenchi: Little Washu!
Darian: AH! Pickle d**k!
Cid: Hey, I wanted to bunk with her!
Darian: Then take her! Go on donít be shy!
Washu: Nope, I want you Darian to be my guniea pig! (drags Darian out of the arena)
Darian: If thereís any good hearted souls left in this world, please, GET ME OUT OF THIS MESS!!!!!
The crowd: (doesnít move a inch)
(back in the ring)
Raye: Time to die you stuck b***h!
Serena: I reget nothing......
Raye: *goes in for the kill...but something grabs her leg......itís Patrick!?* Huh? What the hell is going on!?
Patrick: I had it with you you stuck up %@%$$@%^@$%@$#%^#$%#%#%%$@%#$%@$@$#%# (two hours later) and your grandpa does you in the shower, and you allways like it!
Raye: How dare you spill the beans on my love life!
The crowd: *pukes on.....Luna*
Luna: AH S**T! WHY ME?
Red XIII: Iím free! Iím free! *dances around the arena*
Patrick: Now to kill you off! *beats the s**t out of her*
Serena: (thinks to herself) Maybe heís free for tonight.......
Raye: I reget nothing
Patrick: *picks her up and throws her into a deep fryer and truns it on with her in it!* Who wants some KFR!? **Kentucky Fried Raye**
Cid, Cloud, Red XIII and Barret: HELL YEAH!
Cid: This is better than the Dukes!
Cloud: This is better than screwing Tifa!
Red XIII: I want the white meat!
Barret: I pity the fooí who calls the white meat!
Red XIII: Shut the hell up! *Malls Barret*
Watcher Prime: (looks shocked..) This was one f**ked up match..
Watcher Gamma: Indeed, I didnít see that coming at all....
Watcher Prime: We must pull out the back up match....... (calls the head office)
The Prez: ...I see....I give the go ahead, perpare match: last chance
Watcher Gamma: What was that about?
Watcher Prime: We have a new match for you.....after this message!
Cath Sith: Has your love life been in a rut?
Cloud: Yes it has, I just canít get that felling i allways get before i make love to Tifa
Cath Sith: Then try some ĎWhite Hawk Teaí* tonight..and tell me what happens *throws Cloud a bag*
Cloud: Ok, iíll try it....
(later that night....)
Tifa: Ooooohhhh yyyeeesssss! Cloud you do this so well!
Cloud: (thinking to himself) Iíll drink my tea before sex from now on!
Cath Sith: That name is ĎWhite Hawk Teaí Drink your tea...
Tenchiís grandpa: (pops out of the tea) Itís good for you!
(end of commercial)
Watcher Prime: The ring is ready for our next match!
Watcher Gamma: With a new Ref, everyone give a round of sound for.....Sephiroth!
Sehiroth: *flies in* Hi everybody!
Watcher Prime: Now to the match, In the red side of the ring, space pirate and maniac Tenchi groupie, Ryoko!
Ryoko: Hi, howís everyone been?
Watcher Gamma: And in the blue side of the ring, Princess of Jurai, and a major Tenchi groupie, Princess Ayeka!
Watcher Prime: This isnít a normal deathmatch, the winner of this match gets Tenchi as her prize!
Tenchi: *hanging from above* This wasnít part of the advertiseing deal Prime!
Watcher Prime: Donít ask me, this is your grandpaís idea!
Tenchiís Grandpa: Donít pin this one on me, this was your bossís idea!
Watcher Gamma: Anyway, the match is about to begin!
(at the ring)
Sephiroth: Allright you know the rules, LETíS GET IT ON!!!
Ryoko: Tenchi will finally be mine! *slaps Ayeka*
Ayeka: Heíll be mine! *punchs Ryoko*
Watcher Prime: Looks like this is a stand off....
Ayeka: Thatís it! Time to die!!!! *picks up Cidís spear*
Ryoko: Why you...! *picks up Cloudís sword*
(the two end up in a giant stare down)
Sasami: Who wants some cr....i mean carrots?
Marlene: I want some
Rufus: (with his big @$$ crack pipe ready) Put it in a large pack for me!
Sasami: Ok *readys the two orders....*
Marlene: *eats the entire Ďcarrotí*
Rufus: *runs off lighting his pipe*
A few minutes later....
Marlene: *stoned beyond belief* Daddy....try these carrots.... *drops face first on the floor*
Barret: *looks at the carrots* Man, what is this s**t? *looks at Sasami* Hey!
Sasami: Yes sir... You want some carrots too?
Barret: I want to know what is in these f**kiní carroits!
Sasami: OW! My ears hurt!
Herro Yuy: *for some reason is siting near the Ďstandí* Excuse me sir?
Barret: What the hell do you want?
Herro: Did you just curse in front of that kid?
Barret: So what if I did?
Herro: I want you to say sorry to that kid....NOW!
Relena: You go Herro! Stick it to him!
Herro: SHUT UP RELENA OR NO FUN TONIGHT!
Relena: *backs away slowly...then runs for it!*
Barret: Iím not sayiní sorry, what you gonna do about it fooí!?
Herro: *pulls out his small buster rifle* I hope you have good life insurance....
Barret: I reget nothiní...!
Herro: *blows the s**t out of Barret!* Any one else has a problem with my morals!?
The crowd: *is quiet and slowly takes a step back*
(somewhere else in the arena)
Cid: Say this to me one more time, just so I get this right
Greg: Iím saying that Kitt can beat the General Lee in a race!**
Cid: Why you little!
Greg: You wanna piece of this?
Cid: *shoves a broken beer bottle up Gregís @$$!*
Greg: AHHH! My @$$! My @$$! My f**king @$$!
Cid: Now, what did we learn today?
Greg: The Dukes rule! The Dukes rule!
Cid: Danm straight! *opnes up a can of hash*
(In another part of the arena)
Serena: I was wondering.....Do you want to go out with me?
Patrick: Of course! Iíve been wanting you to ask me out for so long!
Serena: I....I donít know what to say...
Patrick: Then just donít say anything *they lean in for a kiss...but all of a sudden*
Darian: *Catching his breath* Help me.....Serena! I donít know....how long I can last...
Serena: Well, well, well! Mr. Chiba comes crying to me for help....Fat chance b*****d! *kicks Darian in the nuts*
Darian: *In a high pitched voice* Iíll get you for this......*passes out*
Washu: *fades in* Thanks for stoping him....*picks up Darian and both of them fade out*
(back at the ring)
Sephiroth: JUST KILL EACH OTHER ALLREADY!!!
Ryoko: Happy to do so! *runs after Ayeka*
Ayeka: Thatís it! *runs right at Ryoko*
*Ryoko fades out of sight......but fades back in....impaled on Ayekaís spear!*
Aheka: Did I win?
Sephiroth: Yes you did, you killed your foe!
Ayeka: Does that mean that I own Tenchi?
Ayeka: Thanks for clearing that up! *files up to pick up Tenchi*
Sehpiroth: Man...She has to get out of the house more often!
(to the place where Tenchi is tied up)
Ayeka: Hello there Tenchi.....I hope your ready for some pleasure!
Tenchi: *Looking all sheepish* Uh....Donít you think we should slow down?
Ayeka: Why? Is this your first time?
Tenchi: Ah......yes it is...
Ayeka: Donít worry itíll be fun!
Tenchi: If you say so.....
(Letís fade out form that sence......back to the booth!)
Watcher Prime: The next bout is unlike any other I can assure you!
Watcher Gamma: Letís go to the ring now!
Watcher Prime: In the blue side of the ring, Cloud, Red XIII, Vincent, Cid, and Cath Sith!
Cloud: What happened to Barret?
Herro: *from the front row* He saw my Gundam parked outside!
Red XIII: No he didnít! You killed him becaused he cursed at a little girl!
Cath Sith: A savior has come!
Vincent: Shut up! *slaps Cath Sith over the head*
Cath Sith: OW!!!
Watcher Prime: And, in the red side of the ring....inside gundam 04 aka Sandrock, The unknown foe!!!!
Unknown foe: Hey Sephy! Remember me?
Sephy: It canít be.....I kicked you out of here!
Unknown foe: KICK THE SEPHIROTH!!!!
Sephiroth: DONíT KICK THE SEPHIROTH!!!!!
Unknown foe: KICK THE SEPHIROTH!!!!! *kicks sephiroth out of the arena!*
Cloud: S**T! Who is our foe here?
Unknown foe: Pi-ka-chu!
Red XIII: Didnít I kill that punk!?
Cid: More importantly, how in hell can we blow up a gundam!?
Cath Sith: I donít care! *hit 04 with his mic*
Pikachu: *pulls out one of his swords and slices Cath in two!*
Cath Sith: AH S**T! Not again (dies)
Pikachu: Hey Vinny, YOUR TARTS SUCK!!!!!!
Vincent: NOBODY CALLS ME VINNY BUT MY YUFFIE AND NOBODY INSULTS MY TARTS!!! *truns into Chaos*
Pikachu: I think iím gonna die now.....
Vincent: DAMN RIGHT!!! *Dose Satan Slam on the Gundam*
Pikachu: *the Gundam is hurting* AH S**T THAT HURT!!! *slices Vinny in two!*
Vinny: Good bye cruel world! (dies)
Cloud: THATíS IT! OMNI-... *is stopped by Cid* Why you do that for?
Cid: I have a plan, follow me *Cid and Cloud get out of the ring*
Pikachu: That leaves only you left Red XIII!
Red XIII: Eat this! *farts on 04*
(in the cockpit)
Pikachu: What the hell? The controls are stuck!
Sehpiroth: *fades into the cock pit* Time to die!!!! *impales Pikachu with Maseume!*
Pikachu: That hurt! (dies)
(in the ring)
Cid: Plant the C4 everywhere!
Cloud: Got it! *Cloud plants the C4 everywhere*
Cid: See you in hell Pikachu! *sets off the bombs*
Sehpiroth: NNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!! *04 blows up killing Sehpiroth along with it!*
The winners: Do their victory dance
(At the booth)
Watcher Prime: Now that was a good match!
Watcher Gamma: You said it!
Watcher Prime: Until next time, good fight.....good night!
Watcher Gamma: Now where were we?
Watcher Prime: How about right here.... *sinks under the table*
Watcher Gamma: Yep! *goes down with him*
*íWhite Hawk Teaí is the tea that Tenchiís grandpa tries to get Tenchi to drink.....whatís in it? The world may never know!
** Kitt is the talking robot car from Night Rider
All copyrights to there repected owners (whoever they are)
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