Dyne's Top 10 Useless RPG Characters

The characters I wish I never had to use.

10: Elle (Legend of Mana)

I killed myself when I played through the game twice before I figured out how to get Elle to join my party, then killed myself again when I discovered that she uses no weapons, only spells. Not only that, she doesn't cast them very often and they don't do much damage. In short, she's not worth it unless she's required to pass an event.

9: Maria Balthasar (Xenogears)

Augh! This girl is ANNOYING! I had nightmares about her stupid dance that she tries to pass off as a battle pose! Although the Shevat sewers are a great place to level up in Xenogears, you're stuck with Maria when you have to do them the first time! Her only redeeming quality is her Gear, but it still doesn't do much. The only reason she's at a lower spot than Elle is because she's required.

8: Genma Saotome (Ranma 1/2: Akanekodan Teki Hihou)

If you want to find out why Ranma is so much stronger than Genma, just play this game. By the time you get Genma, the rest of your party may be at the same level, but they're a lot stronger and faster. Not only that, Genma's moves are either only to run away, cause status effects that almost never work, or hit a single enemy for lower damage than Akane or Shampoo could pull off with a regular attack. Thank goodness he's only required for one dungeon (then you have to fight him again and he's 20x stronger. What is that?)

7: Jester (Dragon Quest III)

Wether you take a male or female Jester, it doesn't matter. These guys are lazy! Murphy's law really applies to this class on DQ3 because when you need them to finish off a really hard enemy, they'll sit back, chew onion gum, tell jokes, or fall asleep. Then the next round, the enemy will wipe out what's left of your party. Unless you have a quick level up code or reall REALLY need a Sage later on, leave these guys in Aliaham.

6: Bella (Dragon Quest V)

I think Powan would have been smarter to just send the Hero to fix the problems in the Fairy World alone instead of sticking him with Bella. When she joins, she is at and stays at Level 7 (and by this time it's reccomended for the Hero to be at Level 10). She only has a couple of spells at her disposal and not much MP to back them up. Her added weight makes that quest a little more burdensome.

5: Healie (Dragon Quest IV)

Ragnar what were you thinking?! Letting this little blob tag along in his quest to become human! It's a complete waste of time to even look for Healie for 2 reasons: First is that he only has 35 MP, and second, he never heals when you need him to. Although there is a limited space in your inventory, a few herbs will help you out far more than Healie ever will.

4: Cinna (Final Fantasy IX)

What a loser Cinna is! The last time I restarted FF9, Cinna was wiped out in EVERY battle he was required in in one hit! Not only does his defense suck, the rest of Tantalus could wipe out the entire Alexandrian army before Cinna kills even one soldier. Even moreso, he needs his pwecious Garnet doll to fall asleep at night. No wonder Baku beats him up when he catches him stuck at South Gate Summit after he missed several trains back to Lindblum.

3: Ghost (Final Fantasy VI)

These guys aren't required, but they're still at the bottom half of the list for the good reason that I feel they belong here. Their attack power can be lower than Cinna's if you don't know how to use them (put them in the FRONT row, people!). And being undead, do NOT heal them in battle (unless you're going to destroy them for fun). The only time these guys can be useful is by possessing one of the Monsters-in-a-Box near the end of the Phantom Train.

2: Peco (Breath of Fire III)

Chop this onion guy up and put him on my hamburger! That'd be a far better use for him than letting him join the part of BOF3. I actually took the time to level him up to match the other people in my party, and he still was doing less than half of what even Nina does with a regular attack. Even worse still, his defense never really improved much either. Why didn't they just leave him to burn?
And the Most Useless RPG Character...

Pokey (Earthbound)

While all the other characters in this list can actually do something in battle, Pokey does absolutely NOTHING! He whines and complains to Ness about helping him find his little brother and "promises" to help out. His "helping" includes complaining to Ness, using Ness as a shield, playing dead, etc. I still wonder how Pokey managed to get on the good side of any of the bad guys in the game. If any of them were smart, they'd have had him shot 5 seconds after meeting him. Too bad you can't even attack him until the final battle, because I'm sure there are a lot of Earthbound fans, who when they see Pokey, scream, "KILL! KILL!" I know, I'm one of 'em.

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